Dear Kurt
by xkatrinna
Summary: Blaine tries one last time to tell Kurt how sorry he is, how much he loves him. Written as am email. Set after Glease - I think.


**A/N;** Okay well hi! I have no idea why I wrote this but I did and well, why not upload it? Tell me what you think?

**Disclaimer;** as much as I wish I owned glee, I don't.

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Dear Kurt;

I know you don't want to hear it and this will be the last time I'll try and make you forgive me, but I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry, Kurt. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to do that to you. I wish I could turn back time, but I can't. I know you're sick of me apologising but, Kurt, I need you to know how sorry I truly am.

I know you probably hate me. I understand. I'd be surprised if you didn't, I hate me too. Maybe even more than you do. I don't know what made me do it. Or maybe I do. I don't really know anything anymore. I just felt alone, really, _really_, alone. You weren't there and I just needed someone, anyone, to get rid of that feeling. It's like you're moving on with your life and forgetting about me. But who am I to tell you to stay? Who am I to tell you to come back and help me? That's selfish, extremely selfish.

_"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." _You're probably questioning it, but I do love you. I always have and I always will. It hurts to know that even for a second you might think it isn't true. I love you more than I've ever loved anything or anyone.

_I love your smile_; all of them. Whenever you smile it's like the sun just got a little brighter and life got a little better. It sounds silly, I know, but it's true. I love your smile eve more when I put it there.

_I love your laugh_; it's beautiful. As cheesy as I sound, it's like music to my ears. I don't understand how a laugh can be so perfect.

_I love your giggle_; it's adorable. I love when I make you giggle. Even if it means making a fool of myself.

_I love your voice_; it's breathtakingly beautiful. I know sometimes you don't like how high pitched it can get but I love it. I love it when you sing, when you talk, when you whisper.

_I love it when you sing to me_; it always captivates me. It's always so wonderful and full of compassion.

_I love how adorable you look with bed hair_; actually, I just love your hair. But seriously, I know you hate it but your bed hair is one of _the _most adorable things I have ever witnessed.

_I love your blush_; it's cute. I love how much you blush, too, even though you hate it. I love how you blush when we talk about sexual things even though we've done it all.

_I love the noises you make when we make love_; I'll never forget them. God, they're beautiful, and sexy. Like really, really sexy. I love how you're probably blushing now.

_I love how strong you are_; stronger than I ever will be, than I could ever hope to be. You may not believe me when I say it, but you are the strongest person I have ever met, ever will meet.

_I love how you're a beautiful person, inside and out_; you truly are the single most amazing person I have ever had the privilege of meeting.

_I love your sexy faces_; do you remember that? When we both went to Dalton, before we were together. It seems like forever ago now. I hope you know they're a lot better.

_I love how you can make me feel better just by smiling in me general direction_; seriously! Your smile makes me feel better, makes my day brighter.

_I love the way you look_; you're stunning. Beautiful, sexy, gorgeous, adorable, magnificent. I'll never forget the first time I saw you.

_I love how tight your jeans are_; sometimes I wonder how you even fit into them. They're always just so tight. Do you paint them on?

_I love how you look in my clothes_; it's just so cute! I love how my pants are too short for you but my shirts and jumpers are always too big.

_I love your eyes_; how easy it is to get lost in them. I can never tell the colour, a mix between blue, green and grey. Whenever I think I've figured out what colour they are, they change on me. It's beautiful. I also love how expressive they are, I could always tell what you were feeling.

_I love how you love me more than I ever will_; sometimes I don't even know why you love me. How you can love me. I just don't see what there is to love.I love that you love me enough for the both of us. I love that you love me, even when you don't want to. I really just love that you love me.

_I love that even after you knew about all of my problems and my past, you stayed_; it hardly ever happens. There are a lot of things in my past that I'm not proud of, you'd know, and I always find it hard to comprehend the fact that you're still here after knowing about it all.

_I love the way your eyes light up when you talk about something you love_; it makes me happy. You get this glint in your eyes and it's like you could talk about the topic _forever. _Not that I'd mind, I'd be more than happy to sit and listen.

_I love our first kiss_; it was a gorgeous moment, don't you think? Slow and gentle, full of passion. I'll never, ever forget it.

_I love our first time_; I'll never forget this either. Ever. It was foreign and awkward, yes, but it was also perfect. We went slow, took out time. It was full of love, it meant something. I was so happy we did it when we did. It was magical, like all good things combined into one.

_I love when we sing together_; it sounds so good. I love every duet we've ever done together.

_I love the way you play with my hair when it's free of gel; _it feels so nice. I'd never wear it again if it meant you'd run your fingers through it forever.

_I love how smart you are_; it's unbelievable, really. Sometimes it's like you have an answer to anything and everything.

_I love that we were friends before we were together_;as cheesy as it is. We learnt so much about each other before we got together. We fell in love with each other without even realising it. Or maybe you knew, I was always kind of blind about this type of thing.

_I love your fashion sense_; it's astonishing. I honestly do not understand how you do it. Your clothes are always perfect, always matching. There's nothing ever out of place. It's like a work of art.

_I love how you comfort me_; I miss that. You always seemed to know when I needed to be comforted, to be held, or when I needed to be left alone. You knew when to tell me everything would be alright, even though I knew it wouldn't be, or when to just kiss me softly and tell me that you love me.

_I love how you feel in my arms_; it was so warm. I always felt so safe, so loved. I used to wonder if that was what it felt like for you when I would hold you. That's probably why I used to hold you so much; I wanted you to feel like that.

_I love when we sleep in the same bed_; it just feels right. We'd always cuddle, holding onto each other in the middle of the bed. I love burying my face in your neck, you always smelt so nice.

_I love how adorable your pout is_; I'd give you anything you asked for. The way you widen your eyes and stick you bottom lip out just enough.

_I love how you always stand out in a crowd; _always. There's just something about you that makes you stand out. I can always pick you out in a crowded room.

_I love it when you're happy; _it makes me happy. Seeing you smile, seeing you laugh. I love it even more when I know that I'm the reason you're happy.

_I love how well you know me_; you know everything there is to know. I could never keep anything from you. I don't know what it was, what it is, but I just can't lie to you, I can't keep things from you. At least, not longer than a few days.

_I love how you keep all my secrets_; you're truly amazing. You never told anyone anything and for that I'll be forever grateful. I know you'll keep them now, even though could tell anyone, everyone. And that just makes me love you a little more – if it's even possible.

_I love how you don't think my scars are disgusting_; everyone else would. But then again, you aren't everyone else. You're so much better, so much more.

_I love that you always told me that I'm beautiful, even though I know I'm not_; I never really understood it. You told me in basically every day. I didn't understand how someone as beautiful, talented and wonderful as you could think I was one of the most beautiful things you had ever seen.

_I love how imperfectly perfect you are_; it's true. I'd say you were just perfect but I know you hate that. Because no one is perfect, even I know that. It's just you come pretty damn close.

_I love that all our firsts were with each other_; it's special. Our first relationship, first proper kiss, first date, first time. I wish all our lasts could be together, too, but I blew that one.

_I love how we used to talk about our future_; I wish it could be true. The future we had planned… it was flawless. I know things wouldn't have turned out exactly like we planned but as long as I had you, I didn't care.

_I love how it feels when you trace patterns on my skin_; it was soothing. It would calm me down when I got angry, it would put me to sleep when nothing else would. It was always so gentle, almost as if you were scared to hurt me.

_I love your facial expressions_; they're hilarious. I'd have to say your bitch face is my favourite, at least when it's not directed at me.

_I love how passionate you are_; it's one of my favourite things about you. When you love something, you really love it.

_I love how you followed your dreams_; it took a lot of courage. To just leave, to just close one door and walk through the next; without knowing exactly what's facing you on the other side.

_I love how funny you are_; you're truly hilarious. Your quick-wit is another one of my favourite things about you.

To put it simply… _I love you. _

Always yours,

Blaine Anderson.


End file.
